Anonymous 2016-03-14 16:57:44 No.420
who /suicidal/ here
Not except in the "willing to progress spiritually to the point that the "old" me fades.
Nice get, blaze it wew
Anonymous 2016-03-15 03:09:48 No.423
My old (lower) self is dead and gone, I suppose you could say it was intentional. I made a conscious decision to embody the highest ideal and that was not who I used to be. My journey through hell was its end. It was quite painful, but through the pain I was reborn a purified man.
The path was long, it was hard. It took great strength, strength I honestly did not have when I first set out but gained on my road of trails. The path was stony and painfully hard. I ventured through gates of hell into the Inferno where all of my deepest fears resided. Having descend through into the underworld where I was transformed, purified by the hellfire, forged and tempered from clay in to alchemical gold, through the ghastly ordeal of facing the shadows of my own being.
I was estranged from the sheeple who were once my friends, I had my status in their eyes drop to zero, I had my family disown me, all thinking I am must be mad. I had to face all of my deepest fears, I had to walk the ultimate path of trials, being subjected to every torment, everything from which I (as a mundane) has fled in ordinary life, I had to reconcile all of the things that have troubled and disturbed me, I had to confront all those who bid me down, every one who harmed me and all those who screwed me over and not only relive all of the fucked things in my life and understand why but also to I had forgive as well. (That last bit is very important.)
Having encountered every demon, temptress and monster, I overcame them all, it required reaching into my own spirit and summoning forth my Higher Self, my inner godspark to the forefront of my consciousness, having it hold as a bastion-shield against the darkness; through the pain of hell it became necessary, the lower self does not have a prayer of surviving, and indeed and in truth it did not, the I that went in is not the I that came out.
All of this, compelled, powered and driven by my inner voice, that which I could not ignore, the calling for unity with God, the call away from all the mundanity of the world into the glory of divinity, of which I KNOW I’m capable of. Going through hell and facing it all, I've emerged on the other side, paradise, everlasting peace, joy and bliss that transcends all time, space & circumstance.
I wouldn't trade it for the world. I suppose to address your topic proper as you intended it, I tried a few times, it didn't work, there was (divine) intervention.