>>533
>>541
What I see from your writing, has a very clear form. I will try to make describe it in a way that makes sense.
The line at which you interact with the world, also called "faith", can be seen as a horizon of light. You are firmly connected with this line and the path is strong, wide and clear. The energy is dark red which implies experience or something dependable and slow moving. It can be called "stability" as well. This is the positive side of your life. You have a clear and defined way forward and you know what you are doing.
>Now for the negative side.
Your troubling situation results from having absolutely no sense or awareness of the negative aspects of your life. It seems like for a long time you have focused on the things you are good at while ignoring the things you are bad at. This may seem like a good idea as long as you have a fortunate external situation - you can move easily forward and the things you don't know how to handle may seem like they can be outrun without paying any further attention to them.
The issue with this mindset is that if you pay no attention at all to the negative sides of your life, at one point they will catch up with you.
It can be compared with someone who has a natural talent for a sport, and only learns the technical skills needed to succed quickly, while ignoring the basics. It seems like the natural talent is enough and he never experiences any setbacks at all. Then at a time he suddenly gets injured, and because of never learning the fundamentals, he has a hard time recovering. The path back up will be much harder than if he had been working himself slowly up the first time, and he may feel it is hopeless. A person with no talent would have had to learn these things from scratch and would know how to get back again, step by step. But the person who relied on talent alone doesn't know this and will be worse off, he will have to start over from the very basics and learn them as if he was a total rookie.
I hope this image helps to give you a general idea. The things you have problems with can be handled, but you need to go back and do this part from the beginning. It can feel like this is a mortal danger, it really looks this way energy wise, it is thick and black. But you still have the strong path forward.
Because you can rely on this path, it is safe for you to actually take a closer look at the negative side, you do not need to fear getting dragged down by it.
>Now for the pic.
It seems your circulation of energy in your body is strong, but there is something suggesting an "uncontrolled" element. It looks like you have a good idea of the things closest to you, but when looking a little bit further away you are not so sure. There is a lack of clarity of what your action will lead to.
Think of throwing a rubber ball and not really knowing where it will land, will it bounce on something, it can end up anywhere. This may be what is causing your problems from a subjective view, you only look so far in the distance, and beyond that you never had to look before. That is probably where your answer and solution will be found.