Purely from my actual practise of magic and my observations I think I have identified some very edgy yet true and useful things in magic:
- I believe you have to suffer to do magic.
This can entail polarizing yourself emotionally so you can set the pendulum in swing and then when it's at one extreme or the other you are able to force changes in this reality. If you try to balance yourself, you just neutralize opposing forces, and you get nowhere. You are going to have to go through incredible misery and really drive the suffering deep in before you can then go to incredible bliss… then you can through some means stay at one polarity BUT if you want to develop further you're going to have to let the pendulum swing again, and even harder this time, and you're going to have suffer even more miserably before you can be even more happy again later.
- I believe this world is a place of punishment, suffering, etc. it's a kind of hell that only a few unchallenged souls mistake for anything else usually out of ignorance what lays beyond in other planes.
It is most easy to know how shit this world is by a combination of three factors:
1. Getting to the top, seeing this world at it's "best", having it all.
2. Knowing what can be in other planes.
3. Knowing you've got nowhere further to go in this world.
When you make it to the top (whatever your top is, basically just realize your dreams), everyone will tell you that you don't suffer, but for those who are the top they really have the greatest grief and usually become deranged by it because unlike everyone still fighting their way up they know they're at the end of the road and there's nowhere else to go. Some people just kill themselves at this point, others give up all hope and fall into despair that they believe not even death can save themselves from, others still just make it their business to watch the world burn because they know it's all shit no matter how much you improve it, it will always just be shit.
The really wise don't even have to get to the top. They simply imagine their Earthly dreams have come true already and then they realize what a meaningless thing it will be.
- I believe our entire race is enslaved by some higher negative spiritual force preying upon us for our loosh
It's a horrible feeling to know everything is designed to beat you down, to make you miserable, and to only let you feel happiness if you start doing the same as them and you position in life somehow creates misery for others OR you are given just enough happiness to make all the suffering more painful (if you aren't allowed to feel good once in awhile, it all just goes dull, and you fade away and the torture stops being meaningful in anyway). We are being spiritually tortured all the time and the oversoul of our world and the corrupted demiurge are at fault. They won't let us flourish, their flaws are overbearing, and we can do nothing to advance up the hierarchy without embracing some of their evil.
- Sacrifice is incredibly valuable
You can sacrifice parts of your soul and your body and use it to create very powerful thoughtforms. You can sacrifice others as well but you got to trick them, torture them, do whatever is required to make them give it all up. Some of most powerful magic I've ever done caused me to bleed from my nose and has weakened my body. Does this seem farfetched? It's not really. Many people develop special powers after hurting themselves in some way, hitting their head by accident or in a rage, killing others, etc. and pay good attention to how trauma is used in mind control and how powerful it is. You've got to really torture yourself to become powerful.
I'd like to believe otherwise about all this but nothing but an offering of up of life energy and emotional energy seems to count for anything and it's got to come from somewhere… We always need to destroy something to create. Anyone who thinks they can bypass this somehow by observing ethics or being very loving will soon be exhausted if they are having any kind of effect at all.
God damn I hate this world matrix design. I'm probably going to be forced to kill and torture someone in the future just to make my magic more powerful because there's no other way that works as effectively as that.
Best regards,
/edgy/
I don't think this is true. You need emotion however you can get it, suffering to swing the pendulum is just one method.
The feeling that you are in control of reality and can bend it to your will is more important. I've been trying to get this back but have been failing miserably.
