[ anime / comic ] [ astral / edgy / fringe / si ] [ new / ss ] [ b / drama / ask ] [ home / admin ]

/fringe/ - Fringe

Esoteric Wizardry
Catalog
Posting mode: Reply [Return]
Name
Email
Subject
Comment
File
Embed
Flag
Password(For file deletion.)
Hide images

R.I.P. Fringechan 2013 - 2014 | Fringechan via Tor: 73ryh62wtiufgihc.onion

File: 1399154793773.jpg (55.85 KB, 403x275, 1388431636823.jpg)
No. 8564
I really hate myself and don't like anything about who I am. Everything just disgusts me. My body, my thoughts, my memories. I don't value any of it.

There is only one thing I value at this point and it's the possibility for a greater experience. I don't give a shit about this awful fucking life I've had but I want to experience more and greater things.

So I'd like for this to all fade away and for me adopt a new name, a new personality, a new and far more powerful consciousness, etc. Maybe keep a few core lessons in order to avoid repeating mistakes you know and a few values but mostly I just want to purge myself of my body and mind.

At this point I might as well just kill myself right? I don't know if that will lead automatically to a greater experience though. So I've got a second idea – possession or invocation.

I want to craft a new and much more powerful entity to invoke which shall then become me. A kind of god self or perfected self or whatever. One without all these shitty limitations and defective modes of thought. I need to get rid of all this inferiority and transcend. My entire life has been PURE SHIT up to this point and I haven't a single thing to look back on where I can say "this was really meaningful" or "this person I loved" or "I was proud of this". I am just too disgustingly inferior to achieve those kinds of things, I have a broken mind from a shitty upbringing and a lot of traumas.

That's how much I fucking hate my life. I don't think anyone else can even top me on how much I despise myself.

So it all needs to die and I need a new body and a new mind… how can I attain these through magic? Please tell me.
No.8566>>8567>>8568
If this is Smiley, please just kill yourself already. We are tired of reading how depressed you are everyday. Just because you have severe social retardation that hinders you from doing anything useful in life, doesn't mean that we want to hear it.

No.8567>>8568>>8569
>>8566
this

No.8568>>8569
>>8566
>>8567
Thanks for the loosh.

No.8569>>8570
>>8568
I didn't give out any loosh whatsoever, I'm >>8567

No.8570>>8571
>>8569
So what, you just sit there all emotionless with an autistic stare on your face, and think about how another poster should kill himself?

No.8571>>8572>>8594
>>8570
Yep. I just sat there, read his post, said "This". no loosh was lost in the process

No.8572>>8574
>>8571
Ahhahaha good stupid goy.

No.8574>>8575

No.8575>>8576
>>8574
Do you want to know the truth?

No.8576>>8577>>8580
>>8575
shoot

No.8577
>>8576
The truth is, using my magic, I turn your loosh into cum and I guzzle it down my throat everyday.(USER WAS ROPED FOR THIS POST)

No.8580>>8581>>8582
>>8576
Ok. Well first off, even if the loosh farming thing is legit on some level, most people are being tricked into emotionally stunting themselves and creating an artificial loosh shortage.

You're not supposed to block emotions. You cause problems doing that, it's like blocking chakras, your emotions are supposed to flow out into the universe and arrange things for you all the time.

By choosing not to react, you are missing out on opportunities to produce loosh, while fearing the other person is going to steal it.

Here's a secret that's been held back from you. You know with a funny joke how sometimes you have to not laugh in order for others not to notice you? Yet in private later on you can think about it and laugh without waking people up or whatever?

Well there's no use in suppressing your emotions unless you go back to the events of the day at a later time and release those emotions. The only reason to do this at a later time is so that you can achieve a better focus perhaps for a specific goal.

If you are focused enough and have a very powerful mind for it, you could potentially work this magic even as you are posting, and releasing the emotions all at the same time.

You're wasting away your potential though by suppressing emotion.

Another thing – you're being duped into behaving like a 2nd order being when in reality you're a 1st order being with a direct connection to god and thus an infinite supply of loosh.

Loosh farming is worthless unless you're putting it into thoughtforms. If you don't have a tulpa or something which you're dumping your energy into, you're wasting your time. Normally such thoughtforms should be able to even give you instructions or impulses on what exactly to do to help them grow.

"When you experience a negative emotion and do not let it out or convert it into something positive, it becomes a thoughtform parasite, an auric leak, and a spiritual burden. To have become angry in the first place is okay, but to remain so in a non-constructive way must have arisen from some illusory component in your view of the world. In other words, because your perception of a situation was not based entirely on truth, you became angry, stayed angry, and did nothing about it except ignore and repress it. Your illusory perception combined with the resulting negative emotional energy forms, by definition, a thoughtform, except it is one closely attached to your soul. In this article, such an entity will be called an internal thoughtform. It has a conduit leading back to the core of your soul and siphons energy from your emotional reservoir, becoming bloated in the process as long as you continue repressing it."

See how you're supposed to let out negative emotions? Why do you think we have /edgy/? Why do you think we regularly criticize New Agers and the thought police who try to make us be happy all the time? Why does the Matrix Control System promote this kind of attitude all the time?

That emotion is useful but not if you're preventing yourself from generating emotions in the first place. You should actually aspire to let out every sad, edgy, etc. thought in some way and then let go of it or transform it. Suppressing it does you no good.

"While God’s supply of emotional energy is infinite, your rate to receive such energy is not. Therefore, any leak in your loosh reservoir such as one caused by an internal thoughtform generated from repressed emotions will take away from your influx of energy. The more repressed emotions you have, the more auric leaks you have, and the less loosh energy you can use for yourself."

Also…

"Static emotions cannot be tapped by the matrix, although they are still detrimental in altering your behavior like a stuck rudder on a ship. One’s emotions remain static only as long as they are out of one’s present conscious focus. Remember that internal thoughtforms are their own loosh reservoirs, feeding off your reservoir which in turn is filled by God. You may think of these thoughtforms as bloated sacks of loosh just waiting to burst. To access these reservoirs, the matrix must open them with a perceptual key so that your consciousness focuses upon them, opening the floodgates and unleashing an explosion of dynamic emotion which bursts into the ether and is collected by the matrix."

and…

"Not learning a lesson or repressing an emotion are very similar because both lead to no growth of being. Awareness and understanding are necessary to grow one’s level of being, and without conscious processing of emotions and the lessons they teach, growth does not occur. In the case of not yet having learned a lesson, there is no stimulus for growth, and with repressed emotions, growth is artificially squelched. Both of these create demand for and vulnerability against further matrix manipulations in order to provide the opportunity for learning lessons."

and…

"While possible to observe the mistakes of others and therefore gain their learning lesson for ourselves, unexpected tests attempting to push our buttons or those which we must absolutely experience can arise at any moment. Fact of the matter is that if your level of being is insufficient to remain unaffected by the trigger, if you have yet to learn the lesson potentially provided to you by this negative experience, then you will experience negative emotions. To try and stop cold such emotions leads to repression, which is the problem that many people experience when they force themselves to be nice and happy every moment of every day. Repressed emotions resurface later in a twisted and magnified form and can lead to all kinds of psychological problems, even health problems if repression is lengthy and severe."

Oh and another thing. Wherever your consciousness goes, whatever you dwell upon, or read, or engage with – energy is expended. You're only going to conserve it by staying completely focused in the present and transforming it to the right form.

"In cases where all else fails and negative emotions cannot be transformed, they must still be released – anything but repressed. Temporary release of any unconverted negative emotion can be as simple as screaming or slamming your fist upon the table, or gentle like writing or exercising, even crying. This is strictly for cases where there is no constructive way of acting upon that emotion — in other words, no external problem to solve. If someone else is violating your freewill and you feel an upsurge of emotion urging you to defend yourself, then that emotion is best employed for that purpose.

When succumbing to an emotional trigger, you must release the negative emotion to prevent it from becoming an internal thoughtform, then later learn from that trigger and understand why it set you off. If it did so because it keyed into an internal thoughtform, then you’ve found one to work on. If it affected you because of some hole in your perception, then contemplate and learn the lesson so that it will not have to be repeated."

Key part right here btw:

"Now, it may seem from the foregoing discussion that the point of emotional management is to become unemotional and unresponsive to the world. This is totally false. The goal of emotional management, and any esoteric work for that matter, is to decouple one’s internal state from one’s external behavior. In other words, it is the point of emotional management to make your internal perceptions, thoughts, and especially emotional state independent of your external experiences and behaviors. Where is the division line between internal and external? The line resides between the real you and everything else."

"Make no mistake about it — emotions are vital because they are fuel. They help you accomplish things which your level of being up to that point could no do, therefore causing it to grow. As stated before, the purpose of emotional management is not to become unemotional or unresponsive but rather to make internal states independent of external, and also to help transform negative emotions into positive ones. With increasing growth of being, one’s emotions become increasingly one’s own rather than mechanical responses to external stimuli."

"It should be clear that those earlier on the learning path will have more negative emotional experiences than those more advanced. There is no judgment implied – everyone is where they should be and it is pointless to envy another because judging oneself by another’s standards is illogical (the grass is always greener on the other side). People who pretend to be more advanced by being less emotional suffer from the fact that they are passive, for they lack the being and understanding necessary to otherwise fuel their actions, which translates to an apparent lack of willpower. Hence, it is okay to feel negative emotions, as they first alert you to the presence of a learning opportunity, and can help develop your understanding and fuel your actions as long as you practice being self-aware and try to see the objective truth of the situation."

Summary in next post.

No.8581>>8583
>>8580
Can you summarize that post in five words or less?

No.8582>>8585
>>8580
Summary:

1. Do not suppress emotions, even negative ones. Let them come out. If you do suppress them, only do so temporarily until you have a better time to deal with them (such as laying in bed at night or whenever and you have no distractions and can really focus).
2. All emotion is useful. Negative emotions can be converted into positive ones. Feeling nothing is useless and spiritually stunting.
3. Use your loosh energy constructively for its proper purpose which is creation. Montalk defines it this way "Love is defined here as a creator energy, the original will of God that separated the original void into positive and negative space and time, an emotion filled with truth, knowledge, and awareness." Some ways to use this are to expand your consciousness and to work on thoughtforms that will aid you.
4. Learn from every experience.
5. Go and release all the stored up negative energy from every bad experience you've had until you are spiritually purified. (/edgy/ can help)

No.8583>>8584
File: 1399163258276.png (22.44 KB, 400x400, 1316150044612.png)
>>8581
I did it in 5 sentences but seriously fuck doing it in 5 words.

No.8584>>8589
>>8583
If you can't summarize it your post isn't going to be read by anyone

No.8585>>8594
>>8582
>HURRRR THIS GUY OBVIOUSLY HASN'T BEEN DOING THAT FOR YEARS NOW

No.8589>>8591>>8592
>>8584
I read it. Do people really have trouble reading a page worth of text?

No.8591>>8592
>>8589
They do. Most of these illiterate niggers probably find Montalk's articles too long and same thing with books. That's what happens after years & years of IRC, chats, and imageboards accustoms them to very short lengths of text at a time and their attention span breaks down.

No.8592>>8595
>>8589
>>8591
well aren't you two so cool

it's actually because i'm busy making a website with more information than montalk, the shitty tinfoil website

No.8594>>8596
>>8585
He admitted here to being emotionless: ( >>8571 )

No.8595>>8597
>>8592
What? Truthism.com? What's the name of your tinfoil site?

No.8596>>8598
>>8594
I did not see "I felt no emotions" on there, just "Yep. I just sat there, read his post, said "This". no loosh was lost in the process"

fucking moron

No.8597>>8600
>>8595
it's not published atm, why would I upload a unfinished website? And montalk is the tinfoil site

No.8598>>8599
>>8596
>So what, you just sit there all emotionless with an autistic stare on your face, and think about how another poster should kill himself?
>Yep. I just sat there, read his post, said "This". no loosh was lost in the process

Stay mad, faggot.

No.8599>>8601
>>8598
>implying I didn't say "Yep." to the autistic face part

Stay arrogant, Smileberg

No.8600>>8602
>>8597
Are you insulting the glorious prophet Montalk? I'll have you know my mind control waves are sending a very strong message to me right now to attest the truthfulness and superiority of Montalk.

No.8601>>8603
>>8599
Back to wizardchan with you.

No.8602>>8604
>>8600
Montalk is shit and doesn't know shit, exceptions for some things

No.8603>>8605
>>8601
>tfw not a virgin
>tfw never even posted there

No.8604
>>8602
O'rlly? Well prove you know more then with your site I guess. In the meanwhile I am seriously being psychically pinged right now and I don't know by who or what but it is a very powerful signal.

No.8605
>>8603
>smileberg

No.9109>>9123
File: 1399466760950.jpg (77.38 KB, 394x466, PLATE1BX.jpg)
I have caused myself a lot of suffering for trying to maintain a fully positive mental state by suppressing everything negative and things I have perceived to be 'not acceptable/useful', such as anger or sexuality or social interaction. My head feels so heavy, and I feel numb.

Do not do as I have done. You will stunt and suffer.
Let your emotions and desires and thoughts live in yourself so that they can die out: watch them, observe them. Make mental notes.

Like a flame, it is better to let them burn out than hide them under a cup, for the next time you lift the cup you'll be met by smoke that chokes you.

Good luck.

No.9123>>9124
>>9109
>I have caused myself a lot of suffering for trying to maintain a fully positive mental state by suppressing everything negative and things I have perceived to be 'not acceptable/useful', such as anger or sexuality or social interaction. My head feels so heavy, and I feel numb.

I don't suppress anything at all. I constantly let out my darkside on the internet and let go of the bad feels whenever the arise and I do this with no holding back.

I don't like social interaction. I have no desire for it, therefore it's not being suppressed, I simply DO NOT WANT it. Mostly the same for sexuality though whatever thoughts I have I channel into something until they don't burden me.

>Do not do as I have done. You will stunt and suffer.

Let your emotions and desires and thoughts live in yourself so that they can die out: watch them, observe them. Make mental notes.

What's the point of making notes? I have a very well developed ability for forgetting btw and can easily forget things.

>Like a flame, it is better to let them burn out than hide them under a cup, for the next time you lift the cup you'll be met by smoke that chokes you.

>Good luck.

I wonder if my other persona will see this later and what it will think.

No.9124>>9125>>9129
>>9123
>I wonder if my other persona will see this later and what it will think.

Do you DID?

No.9125>>9129
>>9124

Do you have DID

being dissociative identity disorder.

No.9129>>9135
>>9125
>>9124
What? I don't care about that psychiatric shit. I fragmented my mind though into many different iterations in order to expand beyond the limitation of merely having one perspective. Just typical chaos magic stuff… this process is even mentioned in one of the threads on >>>/chaos/

Level of shared awareness between personas is variable.

No.9135
>>9129

>I don't care about that psychiatric shit.


I don't blame you. Psychiatry is devil spawn.

I was just asking as I know someone with DID.

What you've done sounds similar to the temple of the psychic youth's notion of referring to themselves individually as "us" rather than "I", although put into practise rather than changing linguistics based on theory. Not sure whether they actually practised it or not, they were part of/influenced by the chaos magick movement.

I guess I've done the same thing as you myself just not to the extreme. Naturally we adopt different personas under different circumstances, when the rules of the game change, we change. Magic kind of demands that you shift personas especially if you're not neet and have to deal with mundanes.

Also reminds me of the technique where you use a ring which when worn on one finger bears a fascist, anti-semite persona and when worn on another finger bears a pacifist race-neutral persona, according to RAW it was a technique Crowley used.



Delete Post [ ]
[Return][Catalog]
[ anime / comic ] [ astral / edgy / fringe / si ] [ new / ss ] [ b / drama / ask ] [ home / admin ]
Powered by Tinyboard v0.9.6-dev-22 | Tinyboard Copyright © 2010-2014 Tinyboard Development Group
All trademarks, copyrights, comments, and images on this page are owned by and are the responsibility of their respective parties.
[Yotsuba B][Yotsuba]