/fringe/ - Fringe

Being Afraid Of Power 09/12/14 (Fri) 05:46:21 No. 16859

Now that I feel that every part of life is created by the light within me, it's making me want to go back to sleep, to the material reality. This ability we have feels like it makes everything too easy and, because many others haven't awakened to it yet, manipulative as well. The latter especially bothers me. Unfortunately, everything that I am drawn to creating requires participation of others. It's not like I can exclude them. They will be affected by me without knowing it.

What can I do with this? I can feel that something is latched onto me and blocking my expression, but I haven't identified it yet.

09/12/14 (Fri) 05:49:42 No.16861>>16864

>being afraid of power

Give it to me then.

09/12/14 (Fri) 05:58:54 No.16864>>16865

>>16861
Wanting to go back doesn't mean I *really* want to. And I wouldn't be able to at this point, anyway.

I don't fall to feel superior or inferior to anyone. That's why this is scary.

09/12/14 (Fri) 05:59:48 No.16865>>16880

>>16864
What?

If you are so powerful unfuck my skeletal damage right now.

09/12/14 (Fri) 06:37:16 No.16867>>16868

Awakening is just a distraction. So is magic, spiritually, whatever. Manipulating people won't make a difference. Socializing with people won't make a difference. Going back to sleep won't make a difference.
Ego is truth, and it's beautiful. The instincts, feelings, emotions, desires, thoughts, etc you carry within you are your truth. And current spirituality tries to kill the ego and replace it with the "higher self". There is no higher self, there is only THE self. You wanna know what's blocking your expression? You are. Stop whining about not identifying it. Take some damn responsibility, stop being scared, and go after your dreams. If you don't no one else will, because that's all life is. Everyone is living in ego and trying to deny it. When you accept the truth it becomes easy to see.

09/12/14 (Fri) 06:54:13 No.16868>>16872

>>16867
I feel disgusted with my ego. It makes me angry.

I understand what you are relaying to me because I've felt that viewpoint too.

It's like I hate my own truth. I love truths regarding everything beyond our physical senses, but most of the content gives me anxiety. As I weld my world and attract what I want, I am overcome with panic and feel like I will collapse at any moment. Like something will not work out and that this is ultimately all wrong, even though I have the means to create anything I could ever want.

I could just be… but I would feel like I am missing something bigger. That's why I continue in this manner. And yet, it will probably never be enough.

Reading what you posted gives me a sense of familiarity because it's something that resonates with me more. I don't feel like I am being attacked. Whereas things I force myself into believing only do harm. But I still follow them. Why?

09/12/14 (Fri) 07:02:28 No.16869

You don't know how to trust yourself yet. Life is a game, but there's not way to win besides playing you.
I witnessed a shooting the other day, and it got me thinking. When I'm scared of going for what I want, whats the point? If I die and I haven't achieved what my dreams are, have I truly lived? If I haven't even pursued them, is that even living?
Don't believe in anything but yourself, thats how you start. Trust your instincts, accept who you are, live with self interest. But self interest doesn't mean GET RICH AND FUCK OTHERS OVER. In the end everyone's gonna hate you and come after you. It's about a balance between your ego and the world. There is no truth besides what you create. Sure we enter into a physical world with preset conditions, but what you experience is defined by you. Go have a blast you fucker, the world is yours for the taking.

09/12/14 (Fri) 11:53:02 No.16872

>>16868
>not hailing your ego and cherishing it

I am sick of ego haters hating on egos all over the place.

09/12/14 (Fri) 12:02:05 No.16873>>16874

I don't see life as a game where you win or lose I just see it as an experience, one of many to be had through all eternity, and live my life accordingly – very patiently.

I don't give a shit if the world burns all around me or if my own body fails me and collapses despite me taking good care of it and I have to get a new one.

The world doesn't concern me and as long as I'm fed I'm ok.

It's not that I don't do things too, I have no inhibitions at all, I do what I want and I might succeed and accomplish things pretty fast at times but I don't cling to it.

I also don't give a shit about morality. Nothing offends me and nothing constrains me, I just behave naturally, following my own impulses be they of a higher source or whatever it doesn't matter. If someone wants to rape, torture, and kill me it's like "ok" but I do what I want to do.

tl;dr just be. Merely existing is good enough.

09/12/14 (Fri) 12:12:06 No.16874

>>16873
Just to elaborate a little more I feel like any progress I might make in "changing this world" would just be for fun. It would be like playing on a random Minecraft server that you know is about to be shutdown in a week and just building stuff there because you want to or maybe you just dick around running in circles or talking to people or fighting, it's all a matter of interest.

Whatever I accomplish on this Earth is insignificant in the bigger picture as I will leave Earth in a short while (even if I live to a hundred years old) and maybe I will come back or maybe I will go onto new places, timelines, etc. in the great and infinite expanse of all that is. This doesn't really have to make me passive at all, I can strive very hard to be an influential person or not, but what matters is that I am having an experience worth having throughout.

The only thing that will be present with me through all these changes, scenarios, etc. is just going to be me. I will always be there and I will either have fun and grow in awareness or I will stress out being too worried about stuff that really is just illusory. I like to adventure with the other players and maybe stay in contact through multiple lives or even swap experiences and memories and be joined with them but sometimes you lose touch as well and things go on… so be it.

To all of life's problems a sample mantra suffices if one is too attached; I Am I. Just repeat it to yourself, I Am I, and extinguish the internal struggle and accept that everything is as at it should be. Do not forget that you are not the character you are roleplaying.

Then relax, if your body vessel will cooperate, and proceed with no fear of failure or fear of doing wrong.

09/12/14 (Fri) 16:25:21 No.16880>>16881

>>16865
You got beat up by a skeleton?!

09/12/14 (Fri) 16:34:54 No.16881

>>16880
No but my skeleton id damaged and I guess the muscles or tendons too.