>>82493
>I also bet you like to throw around "infinity" and "quantum" a lot too.
not really "fractal" is just my way of phrasing "as above so below"
Sure, our free will and awareness comes from probabilistic Brownian motion which is quantum in nature, but when I use terminology I am quite precise about it.
I really just apply the Copenhagen interpretation and acknowledge the conscious nature of chaos theoretic systems. Once you do that you begin to realize the truth behind magick.
>It's called a manic episode.
No, it was a psychotic episode, as I said earlier I am very precise in my terminology. Everything I heard was a metaphor for my own internal state. If I asked a question and then read something the answer would be in the words I read.
>You feel great about absolutely everything.
It definitely did not feel great. I wanted out of the experience, as at times I had no connection with reality and had severe depersonalization and ego loss. I couldn't talk to my family because my understanding of their words and actions were all a reflection of my own ego, I was unable to understand that other brains could think (I knew they were individuals intellectually, but my intelligence had no praxis with my subconscious).
Everything was quite lonely, there were really only two "entities" in my existence, my awareness, and that which I was aware of. It was very depressing. And I fell into a deep depression during and after the psychosis.
>Unfortunately, this destroys your basic ability to make decisions because every decision seems fantastic.
I could make decisions, but they were for things that didn't quite align with the mundane reality I inhabited. Very few things seemed fantastic, I was quite frightened most of the time.
>Or you can continue to wallow in madness because it's easy. Your choice bro.
It would be so much easier to go back to how I was. Now I am finally exercising my willpower, and no longer drifting without purpose. I know who I am and what I want to do, and I know it's going to be the most difficult task I have ever endeavored. I could easily follow my old path, get a dull job with stable pay, and live like any other person. I won't do that, because now I acknowledge my ego as Prima Materia and I will mentally alchemize the "gold" that it contains.