/fringe/ - Fringe

I was always interesting in fantasy-esque magic, but never really knew anything of the real thing. Later I realized I was atheist and became outwardly against any sort of magic existing whatsoever.

After that, and my life falling down quickly, I read a webpage about NDE's, accepted God into my heart and everything after that fell into place. My life has drastically improved to the point where I'm a completely different person in a much more beneficial way.

Lets try

>>79259

I too, was once an atheist. I've gone through a major religion crisis while studying in a Catholic school, when I was 10. I've studied all the major and some minor religions then (including Sikhism, Hinduism and Manichaeism.) None of them seemed to make sense for my discovery channel-raised mind.

When I was 16, being brazilian myself, I started to read Mr. Olavo de Carvalho. He is a conservative philosopher on the surface, but full of fringe theory himself. Some of his lectures and writing even talk about bildemberg group, the KGB conspiracy (which had and still had influence in Brazil.) and gnosis. He is Catholic. But his sayings convinced me of the ide that was possible that -maybe- there is a spiritual reality in the universe.

Then, being a Chan user, I've started to use /b/ and I've seen a chart with iron pill. I've always had the ambition to be fit and cult and intelligent. The chart showed the books of each pill, and I've identified iron pill as what I wanted to be. So I started reading Julius Evola.

I consider Chan's to be the freest way to obtain information. And I've heard about 8chan in returnofkings.com, which I started to read in my conservative /pol/ user phase.

After studying a bit of occultism in brazilian Chan's, I've came across 8chan's /fringe/ searching for fringe physics theories. But de Carvalho's and Evola's work had convinced me intellectually, and Franz Badon's work had proved me, that the spiritual is as much as real as the physical.

I was hooked. And I stayed.

My mom always was very /fringe/. Since I was a child I was not fed GMOS, got my magnesium supplement and was not exposes to fluor. My mom is very into ioga and quantum physics. She always said me that the universe is song and vibration, that we attract what we mentalize etc. I've always dismissed that as bull.

But after studying physics, history, ethics, philosophy, chemistry, epistemology and more (the Brazilian system of education is worse than the American only for the poor. The middle class and rich have better education than the average American. I'm upper middle class.) I've come to the conclusion that she is mostly right.

It was a mind opening journey. But now I am here. I'm starting do practice yoga, which she always advised me to. I've had major results in the physical and astral plane. I believe that I'm very prone to magick. My biological father is schizophrenic. But I was raised by a different father, which might have diminished my chances of developing this disease that is historicaly linked to the spiritual.

I'm going to a party right now, so maybe I will talk more later. I was really an amalgam of events that led me here. There's much more and they've happened all at the same time. Back them they're all made no sense, but now I see.

Me and my family ( I was adopted by my relatives) went on this crazy vacation in the middle of some lake or something.(not sure why, my uncle got crazy about the post office or something)

It was a shitty house on a rock basically. I was sleeping on the ground, thunder was all around me.

Then I heard it: A loud knock on the door. The door was so shitty that it opened because of the knock…

A huge man came in, introduced himself, and told me: "Your a wizard Harry."

And that's how I knew that I am a wizard.

Growing up, my father was a severely lapsed Catholic and my mother a flighty Buddhist who could never really practice the religion and still doesn't. My father's education contributed largely to the background components of my occult education (he loves William S Burroughs, referenced Carl Jung, introduced me to tarot cards though he condemns them now, etc.) and my mother's lackadaisical approach to living has made me a person more receptive to these things, or, at the very least, has made me the sort of vessel that I am today. I was very skeptical of magic, however, and considered myself an atheist/agnostic from about the age of 8 or 9 till 17 or 18, when I began to more bravely consider myself Buddhist, and from there began a slide through very intense philosophical education beginning with Western philosophers, dancing over into West-East bridge philosophers like Alan Watts, and then finally ending up with a fairly heavy emphasis on Eastern Daoism. None of this, however, managed to save me from the blackness of my heart and the dread I found in being.

I accidentally created a hypersigil which altered my life irrevocably in a manner similar to that depicted in said hypersigil; death was the means by which this world and the world of the hypersigil were connected, methinks. It was a realization regarding this, and an occasion wherein I experimented with LSD and realized in a very personal, deep and subjective way the meaning of God being called "I AM" that made me initially open my heart to the realization that I have in fact always been a magician, and that I have always been closely guided and influenced by my HGA/spirit or whatever you'd care to call it. He has many names but is the same whatsoever one would care to call him. It is a beautiful friendship and I am humbled and honored every day to find myself a vessel for the unconscious mind of the universe, blessed and gifted by it in reward for the works I am meant to do for it.

>this same guy roleplaying

I believe our personal stories to be more alike than I used to think.

Where to begin?

My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low-grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery. My mother was a fifteen-year old French prostitute with webbed feet. My father he would womanise, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he 'invented the question mark'. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy, the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.

My childhood was typical: summers in Rangoon, louge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. If I was insolent I was placed in a burlap sack and beaten with reeds, quite standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe. At the age of fourteen, a Zoroastrian named Vilmont ritualistically shaved my testicles; there really is nothing like a shorn scrotum. At eighteen I entered medical school. At twenty-five I took up magic. I wanted to be a quadruple threat, a stage magician, a palm reader, a medium and an escape artist.

>from cuckstianity to bullshit occultism

>>79259

The Catholic Church has always treated me very strangely, since I was four or so.

There is a lot of energy in me, still trying to figure out some of the settings. Like getting to know all the buttons on a new car.

>>79294

I'm sure almost everybody is like this:

>be young

>never felt confident in whatever religion (or absence of) was indoctrinated by friends/family

>be outsider to peers, not hated but don't fit in as well as the others

>time on computer eventually leads to 4chan's /b/

>browse /pol/ and get redpilled

>get bored and start going to /x/ or 8ch after exodus

>find /fringe/

>think it's crazy but can't manage to stop reading

>everything clicks for the first time

>am wizard

>>79342

Time in school was pretty much Agoge and football.

Everything thrown at you is meant to be overcome to teach you, to grant you wisdom to draw from.

You chose this life and these troubles because you knew you needed and could overcome it.

>what is after death? Why is this the only question I can't answer?

>find whole new world of questions in meditation

>be me

>laying on bed

>see wispy female figure walk by dresser

>look up 'ghosts'

>find auras

>find Joy of Satan

>find God

>start meditating

>vengeful wrath comes to disrespectful roommate

>I'm free

>learn stuff

>drink urine

>pour on hair

>hair smells

>find chan

>irrelevant kike shithole

>pour more urine on self

>smells

>now I'm a whiz-ard

It was my feeling I had some extrasensory thing with my thoughts. I could make up ideas in my head just by thinking, I would hallucinate things vividly. And I realized I could do stuff with those thoughts.

Over time I can believe that I gained a psychic capacity for understanding others deeply. Then it was possibly some deep understandings of physical reality.

Following this I discovered this thing, the occult. I never liked it, it seemed bad to me. It doesn't seem good.

I wanted to learn more about it and my curiosity lead me o read more. I unfortunately convinced myself that it was ok to continue and to even try stuff. I noticed that my mental ability to imagine things, and the actual ritual together were able to do even more crazy stuff. However the dark occult books I found seemed to have a very negative mentality about things which misguided me toward a sort of dark path.

I have regretted so much of those times, and I went deep into true oblivion for a year or more. It was a very, very bad place to be. I feel this has happened to others before. In truth I must have been confronting myself. I don't think I can really go back there.

I purged a lot of myself and now I am just able to do what I want. I had inner problems before, and now I feel a bit more free to use magic in a mature way. Yet I can't help but feel that it is extremely hazardous.

I don't like how it effects my mind and personality. It seems to make me feel like I am not real and I don't like that.

I want to be able to do it and remain myself and sane. I want to be able to use it lightly and carefully, and respectfully, and to do so with regard to my existence and life. I fear that magic unfortunately has a side effect of making one question things far too much.

I haven't touched the stuff for months now and I feel lucky to have my sanity back. I told myself I can't do it anymore because if I do, I may never be sane again.

I truly want to because my mental abilities are genuinely strong, I just don't know how to wield them properly. I think I am going to stick with the yogic path or something, where I spend more time meditating and training my mind instead of using magic. If I can make my mind focus and really gain spiritual ability, then I will return to using magic.

>>79259

How i came to the conclusion that 'something else must exist' has to do with church, even though I wasn't a christian at that time anymore.

You see, I was quite religious when I was a kid. I had been raised to believe in Christianity and looked up to Jesus, wanted to follow him and praise him, yet I strayed from that path when i took up scientific interests. The fedora in me decided that things couldn't have gone like the bible told me and that I should abandon my religion, so I did.

It was a rough, dark time full of doubt. I was furious at the church and my family for lying to me, yet i still kept going to church if only to please my parents.

Church was very dull, so i kept falling asleep. My mother often pinched me awake to keep the appearances up.

I once met a girl there, she was through and through Christian. In a weird way she was full of joy and invited me to visit another church. She had fallen on rough times and this church helped her drag herself through life.

Next week i decided to tag along to this weird Pentecostal congregation, and even though I did not believe anymore there was a certain feeling or vibration in the air. People supported each other, people loved and cared for each other. People prayed with each other in total harmony. It was the first time I've felt pure joy in years.

Then a guest speaker took the central stage and started to talk about Witchcraft and Homosexuality. He started to explain his point of view and mixed his own feelings in. The air got damp and I felt a certain rage coming up, I could feel the hatred and arrogance, even though I've felt joy 5 minutes before.

It felt like I could 'tune' in to their feelings, and it amazed me. I thought about how humans could ever share such things when there is no physical basis for it; how this 'tuning in' worked. Only then did I notice the difference between the 'dead' church and the 'alive' church. The message was not written in words or books, it was something to be shared on a higher level. I gradually became interested in the occult and tossed my fedora-grade ideas outside.

Since then my life has been a torrent, and luckily I stumbled upon /fringe/

>>79272

Which books by Evola did you read? I am about to read Revolt Against the Modern World, but would like to hear what /fringe/ specifically recommends from him.

I grew up agnostic, my mother was esoteric but the bad kind. Falling for shitty scams wasting thousands of shekels on bullshit items and expensive courses. Despite our family being lower middle class and barely getting by. This led to divorce and ruined my childhood. I became strongly atheist and nihilistic. Cue shit teenage years with womanizing to screw the pain away, virulent hatred against christians and altogether withdrawal from public life. I was into the whole internet atheist shit too but mainly just as a spectator as I enjoyed them taking the piss out of people. Eventually burned out from boundless hedonism of drinking & screwing for years at around 21 (I live in europe). Major breakdown after at the time girlfriend with BPD shattered my soul, nearly end up in psych ward. Horrendous depression, about to off myself. Find pol, find how the jew is destroying me and my race. Depression turns to anger. I'm back with a fire in my heart. Read uncle Adi's writing. Stop drinking. Become celibate and traditional. Read prometheus rising. Dabble a bit in nlp (meh). Read the old myths and religious texts. Start some basic breathing exercises. Breathing combined with no jizz not only gets me back to normal but sort of beyond normal into ecstatic feelings without imbibing in anything. Go deeper in indian breathing/energy/kundalini etc system, more results, lucid dream, out of body, severe synchronicities, receive karmic payback for my good deeds. Stuff I used to make fun of suddenly becomes real to me. The irony.

1488 from Ānanda

A+++ would become superhuman again

>>79392

You want to listen to this talk. Especially the later half. It reminded me of smiley.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w3WiuG6uTJQ

>>79461

Also here's one of the documents that helped me get into it. It's very normie friendly in fact I'd say you could convince a lot of pol minded people with it.

http://hariomgroup.org/hariombooks_default/satsang/English/TheSecretOfEternalYouth.pdf

>>79259

>Be scared of death at 9 years old.

>Decide to find whether there's life after death or not.

>Learn telekinesis, shared dreaming, clairvoyance and some weird shit.

>It's true. All of it.

>Find out there is life after death.

>Lose all interest in the occult, but become an immensely happy person.

>Suddenly, after some years, decide to go back into it and learn how deep does it go.

>I can't into magic anymore.

I'll have to re-learn again, I guess.

For most of my childhood, I was an agnostic atheist. Some time in my mid teens I found this band. They made me aware of astral projection, since they used it to write music. As far as OP was talking about, I think that's it for media. Other than that, it was /fringe/ and a university meditation club.

I was born into a christian family, even my grandparents and aunts n uncles n cousins. Church on sundays, youth group, private christian school. There was no escape and I didn't know better. At a certain point I was bullied and only had 1 friend a year. I delved deep into fantasy/scifi and video games of that nature. I was always drawn to the idea of magic but never believed in it. It wasn't until I started using drugs and when I watched spirit science(shameful I know) that I opened up. On top of that I later found out I gained some genetic gift from my mother. Her mom was diagnosed bipolar, and I was a lil developig schizo in high school, but I think its just a lack of integration. Her christian sensibilities translated her gift into "sensing demons" and on a daily basis now I have to deal with seeing fuzzy energy of thoughtforms and spirits, its easy to hear them too.

I was a bit of a new age whacko for a while but it got me into lucid dreaming, astral projection, tarot, channeling, energy work, etc. I recently quit drugs too and all the suppressed higher senses turned on fully to what I was born with. I decided to quit when someone dosed me molly and lied about what they were giving me. The spirits around that energy made me feel sick and disgusting. So now Im on a path of self improvement. I don't even read on magic and I've suprised myself time and time again. If a friend is too drunk to drive I can siphon it into myself. If they smoke weed and dont feel it I amplify it. Manipulating people in public or on freeways to make space for myself, even changing stoplights that are on timers. Time manipulation by speeding up, slowing down, or phasing out what feels like seconds and ends up being an hour. Energy manipulation to the point that I can create repulsion, heat, do reiki, etc. I even had a psychic thought loop battle with someone once.

Basically

>raised religious

>denied by my own age group

>isolated in fantasy

>drugs opened a gateway

>new age introductions to basic spirituallity

>scared shitless by lower dark ecstacy spirits

>drug free and radar off the charts

>born this way

The constant push and pull of the energy in my life made me want to be in control I guess, or at least understand. I was always a smart kid but never cared enough for the mundane world. Now, its a little overwhelming but Im learning to handle it. Just wish I could turn the senses off sometimes and just enjoy life but that doesn't work. No drugs, no sanity. An interesting paradox indeed. I wouldn't give up the insanity though, I thoroughly enjoy it.

>>84981

Assuming you're still around, How does one into shared dreaming? I've never seen any resources on it

chugging cough syrup and conspiracy theory

>>85010

DXM MY NIGGAH YES

care to share any experiences?

Once when I was vacationing on a small island off the coast of England with my adopted family I heard this knocking on the door.

This barrel of a man bursted in with letters full in his arms. His was Haggas. Through mouthfuls of pork he told me I was wizard and that I should groom myself thoroughly.

That's when I met Hermong and she taught me to be an Arcane Mage of the Order of Bifterbong,

>>85008

I did it several times. If you're a total scrub like me it will be easier if you get along well with the person you dream with and be very connected.

The weirdest experience with shared dreaming I had involved me and my gf having the same dream in different timezones while I was studying abroad. I even described some of her friends, and I had never heard about them before that day. That made me doubt a bit about shared dreaming and think it was some sort of remote viewing, but she could see me too.

>>85023

Wait… what are the golden books? Bardon's?

Used to browse 4chon back in the day smiley, showed the way a bit, but I have been in tune with spiritual shit since I was born, I grew up in a cultic religious thing, still not sure what to call it, kundalinis, charkras and shit, so I had some pre knowlegedge of stuff. No I think its a bit of a joke, just turned into a shit fest, money etc, greed has a way of getting into communities. I dunno, people always said you were a "realised soul" for being born into this, but after a while I kind of got the thought its all mental masturbation, excuse the typos, pretty drunk while writing this.

My introduction to magic was threw experimenting with the idea of tulpas witch i came ac across on half chans /x/, I ended up creating one and this slowly led to different ideas and tests, I then found this place and continued my research.

there was also a bunch of spooky shit when I was about nine or ten that perhaps was my imagination but I had no control over them in any way.

I also got into magic when I was in my early teens and got a few results but left it at that, not edge fag just curious.

>>85069

Interesting… What «sigil system» did you use? And what did you use them for? Do you have anything to tell us about that?

>>79259

I skipped wizard and went full Druid.

Drug induced psychosis (marijuana)

>>85035

I meant most of those books recommended by /fringe and etc…

I had no idea of their existence, until I came here, but Im talking specially about the ones I got so far which are:

-Robert Colier - Secret of the Ages

-Franz Baron - Initiation into Hermetics

-The Kybalion

-The Law and Promise - Neville Goddard

-And a dossier I have been making, with useful information, guides and things I found, including «The Book of Knowledge by Anonymous», and more.

But I must say I've found «my magick» or one of «my» main powers, before knowing about all of this stuff.

Oh, and if you have some recommendations on what else to read, learn from, I'm opened to suggestions.. :)

>>85534

>mkultra indoctrination

you know you have to elaborate on this

>>85577

wew watched that guy in a video the other day…

Have been researching the Thai Forest tradition lately and it seems to be one of the purest branches of organized Buddhism available today. Monastic life in such a tradition seems to be an efficient escape from these dark times.

Do you have any other interesting experiences with it that you'd be willing to share?

>>85582

Not really, just the usual you would expect from a buddhist temple.

you are right about the purity tho, hence the name therabada wich means "elder".

basically meanst that the person is encoraged to read the pali cali as raw as he can and get whatever you made of it, anyone is free to ask shit but never let any monk influence your personal teachings on the book or contradict direct experiences.

the week prior to my arive the talk was about ghost, they did acknowlodge them saying, they have escaped time but are trapped in space (as in phisical place, not the sky space) with again, it seems like a spot on.

what i found it funny is that the Theravada branch has contrast to the Mahayana one (the one who became the most popular but also hollydood-esque/dalai lama/pleb tier).

the mahayana goal is to achieve nirvana , surrender your 'self' and never came back to earth, while the theravada wants the experience of reaching nirvana but then reborn on earth as many times as the person wanst it.

There is anotherone, the Vajrayana, wich is the less know and also the most 'occult' like part of buddhism, with spirit comunication and telekinesis and stuff… but most of the good stuff is in Thai, wich is a hell of a lenguage to learn.

>>85584

Cheers

>be raised a christian

>have to go to church like a good boy

>literally fall asleep in church all the time, even though I operated the projector, LEL

>church is boring as fuck

>father starts learning hebrew so he can read the hebrew bible, basically trying to figure shit out for himself

>we stop going to church regularly

>go to other religious places from time to time, quaker meetings and synagogues and stuff

>move out of family's home

>thought about christianity for a bit and concluded that the god of the bible couldn't be god because I didn't believe that the Supreme Being would be so petty or have such a convoluted holy book

>plus I didn't find the idea of an afterlife where you kiss god's feet for all eternity very desirable

>kind off gave up on religion for some time, considered myself an agnostic

>still thought about death and stuff, decided I would refuse to believe that this world is all there is and that death is the end

>I don't even think it was a logical conclusion. I simply thought that cessation of being was absolutely horrific. Anything would have been preferable to not-being

>at one point meet a guy who was a giant weaboo and spouted memes, "ITS OVER 9000" yeah, this was a while ago

>look up this dumb shit he keeps referencing, find encyclopedia dramatica

>browse the site for a while absorbing chan culture

>now know memes so stale most people currently on 8/4chan probably never even seen them

>after a while decide to visit 4chan

>just kind off hop around from board to board, stick around for the memes, learn useful things then get bored and leave

>eventually come to /x/, to read creepypasta I guess

>there's always an occult thread, just skim by it and shrug it off for a while

>eventually get bored again, decide to check out what this occult stuff is

>people post things that kind off make sense, gets my curiosity up

>someone links to the original fringe site

>check it out, read the FAQ and decide to read the Kybalion

>MFW

>MFW it all makes perfect sense

>MFW it paints a picture of reality that is more perfect than I could ever ask for

>with this knowledge more levels of understanding are opened

>things that didn't make sense now do, in fact everything makes sense

>any piece of knowledge can now be accounted for

>time goes on and I'm learning new things all the time

>>85786

good for u

It was a trickle of experiences and exposure to various ideas and media that steadily increased over the years that precipitated coming to my own conclusions.

It was no singular thing, exposure to the bhaghavad gita, Terrence Mckenna's talks also did have a significant impact, although was not the definitive source. Also various individuals talking about cosmology and the concept of eternal return, as one of them described his variation as something like a "quantum replication threshold"

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eternal_return

In which if a universe were sufficiently large enough, over a significant enough period of time, an exact recurrence of the same things could be observed.

My personal theory is that when such a threshold is met for a given thing in the universe, it acts as a catalyst for novelty, you don't actually see the replication, because there is none, that's simply a limit for which novelty fulfills itself and does so with all things until as described by McKenna, all such quantum potentials have been fulfilled and "god" aka the universe, truly becomes both the alpha and omega, and all other dimensions within it collapse into the singularity of timelessness and perfection.

It only just made sense from there on to realize that because novelty and memetics is essentially the power behind this phenomena, that magick would also among all other influences both physical and otherwise do so as well.

Grant Morrison also talks about this although in a very roundabout way that does not fully explain the role that magick and memetics play in moving the universe toward its inevitable final form.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l-cxBuRU09w

>>79259

There is also no way to convert somebody, they'd simply be larping, everyone must come to their beliefs in their own time by their own effort.

Some people simply may not to in their present life, they may not be meant to. Don't worry about converting anyone, focus on finding those who already believe.

>>85830

This needs to be overstated. The phrase "pearls before swine" applies. That doesn't mean you should scoff at the mundane who shows genuine interest in spirituality, nor should you keep your knowledge to yourself forever refusing to teach others. At the same time you cannot force this on people. Those who are ready for it will come and be eager to learn. But those who don't yet have the desire for absolute truth, for them your words will fall on deaf ears, and you'd simply be wasting your time. Most of my relatives are christians with a mundane idea of divinity, but I do not intend to enlighten them. I simply say I have my own beliefs and go my own way because I know they wouldn't listen to a word I say, but they'll come around eventually in this life or another. People go where they want and where they need to, and there's no use in forcing them.

>>79317

Holy shit, that was four months ago. Since read Kybalion and a 1/3 through Manly P. Hall.

Too many synchronicies to recount.

you think you are a wizard

you are nothing but a tool

a fool

a jewel

you know not the meaning of magic, of power

fraudulent prophets of the devil as the one known as smiley have led you astray

>>79259

I had already done qi gong for a long time but I didn't believe any of this in particular was real, I was just focusing on enlightenment.

What made me change my mind was Vampire Diaries season 3. Some part of the spells used by the witches just looked like they may actually work, from within what I already knew.

vipassana

>>85072

Kamiro?