/fringe/ - Fringe

same here. just embrace the degeneracy. in the end it doesn't matter. we all will die and after death you will be free and all will be well.

spend your time how you want. Why give up the addictions and pleasures? This world is shit, society and humans are shit, everything is shit. escapism and complete laziness are fine.

This is all a dream and a illuson with death at the end, so don't worry. you don't have to do anything or even better yourself. god loves you regardless.

>>119138

Maybe a "stick wakeup" will do it.

>>119139

Seems like wishful thinking, I wouldn't be so sure.

>spend your time how you want

I don't think you can relate. I don't make choices. I wish I could, I hate what I'm doing and I can't stop.

>>119141

Huh? I hope you're not mocking me

>>119142

Try hitting yourself with a stick every time you think of doing something you want to give up. After a while you'll associate it with pain instead.

>>119138

About two years ago I was in a similar position. If you can, get a therapist. I know it's probably a terrifying idea and it takes a lot of courage.

I had to get to the point where my depression and isolation became so bad it was giving me physical pain before I did it.

To have someone IRL who sort of understands what you're going through even if it's only on a theoretical level and who can make you feel like you efforts are not futile/stupid and that you can improve made all the difference to me. It slowly gave me back a connection to the outside world and made it feel like the world wasn't completely hostile.

Good luck anon.

>>119149

Might as well tell me to just get a gf or something. Sorry but come on. It's either I'm bad at describing my situation or you don't even try to understand what I mean. I give up, this is completely hopeless

>>119145

that's literally just self flagellation you autist

>>119138

op read this, feel a little better.

https://mewch.net/fringe/res/2736.html

(image update at bottom)

many of us have been where you are, and often fade in and out of that feeling. it's a part of realizing that you know what you like and don't like, and then also being honest and fearless enough to accept the fact and tell yourself that you admit that most of what is around you is what you do not like. it's okay. we're not here forever. have patience. soon we will be together where we belong. God bless you op.

>>119139

this being said, even though nothing matters- it's still nice to try to better yourself by YOUR standards. not by the standards of others. do a few crunches, do a few pushups, eat some salad, play a fun video game. be the best you that you can be, or at least the best you can be in a shitty world. yea, fun is important, but having fun while feeling 1% better than you did before? I know. but still something, but still nothing, but something good, a game to play while you wait in the game.

>>119149

>Trusting someone in a position of legal power to assume your words mean the best things and to not assume the worst possible meanings in your words and throw you in a mental hospital for what they assume you meant as something like potential for self harm or harm towards others

funny story

>talk to any kind of mental health

>psychiatrist

>psychologist

>therapist

>whatever names you can think of

>anon, tell me how you feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllll

>bad

>and how does that make you feeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllll

>bad

>OH SHIT LET ME MISINTERPRET EVERYTHING YOU JUST SAID, YOU SAID YOUR GOING TO KILL YOURSELF AND HURT SOMEONE?

>uhhh what?

>I JUST CALLED THE MEN IN THE WHITE COATS

>THEY ARE COMING TO PICK YOU UP RIGHT NOW! BETTER ANSWER THE DOOR WHEN THEY GET THERE SO THEY CAN LEGALLY TAKE YOU AWAY!

>but that means I'll be trapped in my house because they might show up at any time

>YEP! YOUR NUTS BUCKO! GO GET PUMPED WITH DRUGS AND LOBOTOMIZED!

>but I didn't say I would do any of those things you just made up, I'm not a danger to myself or others

>NOPE! THATS WHAT I HEARD! HUE HUE HUEH UE HUEEHU!!!

>>119158

be very careful, gf's will get preggers on purpose and child support cuck you and divorce you and steal all your money and ruin your life

>>119202

Yeah I agree with you.

>>119142

I see. You must do what you want or feel is right. Never give up working towards it. What helps me is massive motivation from outside sources when I cannot get motivation from my own. Music, shows, posts from people, videos on youtube and so on. Try that.

Also it seems like you want a different life but you can't so you may be posessed or haunted at least. Try to cleanse yourself and your home, there might be a negative spirit feeding on you. Actually you might be completely infested with larvae and lower demons and whatnot, like a maggot infested cadaver in the summer. Read up on that, do energy work, use salt, visualization, ground yourself. Read practical psychical self defense from Robert Bruce if you care.

And lastly, if you wanna better yourself take it small. One small step at a time you replace your degenerate habits and addictions with the things you wanna do. Don't change too much at once or the ego backlash will be hunge and you will suffer again.

I'm the same anon as >>119139 so I hope this post now helps better. Good luck faggot

Rolled 17 (1d20)

to add to what others have said:

focus on the moments that make you laugh. If you aren't regularly laughing, try to find memories that make you laugh & focus on those

( i know you can't make choices & do things on purpose but poor baby is already being memetically influenced if their here reading this & ur gon giggle at some point cutie)

just keep refocusing on what you find funny, find new things funny, find funny ways of looking at things.

laughter is the meta, everything else will wrap around it (assuming some part of you wants to hang on in the first place) anyways. just find ways to laugh & you'll find ways to negentropically reinsert yourself into yourself.

good luck & godspeed but you've got to want it to will it

(ps def post if things change or don't or whatever, am interested in results as motivation hacking is an extreme 'passion' of which i'm desperately in need of. tho i rarely disassociate for longer than a couple hours so i will admit we are in different boats tho likely the same sea)

(don't get me wrong laughter is a cheat, but you have to fake it to make it or something like that)

(sage is cause this is spaceically a question cuz, you shoulda asked the question thread or a fringe friendly therapist (if that was even a thing i wish lol kill me) or post more research than 'i feel like my ego is slipping away wat do?' when the answer is obv be awesome)