This is going to be a long thread… I tried to split it up a bit, like you can see below, so if don't have the energy to read it all, you can chose yourself what you think seems important. However I'd really appreciate if someone took the time to read it all, especially if you've experienced something similar.
1. [Introduction of myself]
2. [General explanation of my problematic dreams]
3. [Further explanation of the "between-state" / Principles of the "between-state"]
4. [Yesterday's dream, with an extra element]
5. [The type of advice I'm looking for]
[Introduction of myself]
So, to begin with; I'm a bit of a skeptic to the point of If someone had told me the things I'm going to tell you, and I hadn't experience these things first hand myself, I wouldn't have believed him/her, or alternatively just called it a simple nightmare. So keep this in mind when you're writing you replies.
(This is a bit of info regarding me so you can understand what sort of "level" I am on)
I'm pretty well read although I haven't read any Occult/Gnostic books yet (They're next on my list). I've done LSD/Mushrooms/DMT all three in both high and low dosage (Although I have never encountered any type of "creature" in any of my trips). I'm open minded, but I only truly believe what I can either reason for or experience myself, thus I call myself a skeptic.
TL;DR I'm somewhere between Green pill and Gray Pill
(If you don't remember Gray pill It's basically Green pill without the occult/magic stuff)
[General explanation of my problematic dreams]
So, for as long as I can remember I've often been able to regain my consciousness in dreams and I eventually figured out that if I focused all my energy on blinking rapidly In the dream, I'd eventually start doing the same with my eyes in real life and thus wake myself up. This worked like a charm for me when I was younger and was also very useful since I often had nightmares.
However… When I got to the age of about 11/12 years old this started to become more problematic. I was still able to regain my consciousness in my dreams, but whenever I'd try to wake myself up, my consciousness would kind of get stuck in a realm between my physical body and the "dream-world", often getting thrown back and forth, so one moment I'd enter a stage of sleep paralysis (being in my physical body but unable to move anything), the next moment I'd be outside my body (In the realm between I mentioned previously), and the moment after that I'd be back to consciously dreaming. They sometimes also mix, which is terrifying. As I got older I'd even enter the "between-state" as fast as I fell asleep, i.e. before the dreams even started.
[Further explanation of the "between-state" / Principles of the "between-state"]
1. This place is terrifying. There is always a sort of sinister presences there. Sort of like in those nightmares were nothing scary actually happens, like you can just be running from something, you don't even know what it is, you only know it's a nightmare and you need to run the fuck away from something. That is sort of what it feels like.
2. It's not like I have spiritual body that resembles my own in the "between-state" it's more like I'm a cloud of consciousness.
3. I'm more like 85-95% conscious. I have my memory from the real world, I can "chose" what to think, I know exactly what is going on, but I don't think I'm quite as rational as when I'm fully awake (but close to it).
4. The realm always resembles the room I'm currently sleeping in that night, but it has never occurred when someone is sleeping with me in the same bed. However If somebody is sleeping in the next room over doesn't seem to matter. I can see my floor, my bed, and the bottom part the walls, the rest seems to be a sort of black void of nothingness. I think other rooms exist as well, but I've never been to them.