>>109949
Just get the shotgun already. You don't need the trailer if you're just going to off yourself in it.
I'd say there's nothing wrong with you that medical tech won't eventually fix, but it doesn't sound like you're into that kind of hoping for the long-term.
In terms of more positive power…
For prolonged solitude, study local maps and find ways to walk off the beaten path. Get to where people aren't and rest away from them. You can at least use your one day a week for that. If you're overworking yourself "to escape", you can cut back on the excess once you've found somewhere you can be in private for a better escape.
Once you can get to a placid demeanor, it's easy to meet new people. I know the fear that there are no good people in the world, but I also know a stable long-term relationship. There really are good human beings. There are seven billion people in the world. All kinds of people. Some social environments are just very unhealthy. You're talking about eliminating the need to socialize, as though it were something you're failing at. What new patterns have you tried? Are you presently dependent on any people who make you feel terrible?