/fringe/ - Fringe

The world is overpopulated and my existence is pointless. Anyone can fill in whatever roles I might have occupied. Cull me please, God. If you can't make me useful and heal me, just cull me, but don't let me suffer.

re-read what you posted and try stopping your negative thinking. your not rubbish, your not a burden. You cant let your environment rule your thoughts and emotions. Today's society is designed to make you feel worthless because you don't have X. Even more so if you are deemed "strange". you cant die from a metaphysical perspective cause your already there.

I need to overcome and defeat whatever lays deeper in my mind that keeps me suffering and forcing me to live

good idea you should do that

>>102519

>Don't be sitting their waiting for some metaphysical force to come save you, shit doesn't work out like that.

>Ask him for forgiveness not punishment. God will always be with you.

only thing that bothered me other than that rest of it was good.

>>102512

Reflects a state I'm often in and out of over time. Pretty much been dealing with it my whole life.

Taking an abstract view of the situation has led to a very simple conclusion.

This conclusion has led to radical changes in my personality and in my life.

The fight is all internal, but the war is external. Your mind is the only place you need to fight and the only place you can truly win.

Anger without direction is what causes depression. Someone with a stick is poking you, but you don't know who, what, where, when, how or fucking why they are poking you. If you knew any of that you would take that fucking stick and…

Life isn't actually pointless. But dipshit mother fucking faggot ass cunt faced monkey fucking shit heels get off on demeaning human beings. And nothing fucks up a human being more than robbing them of purpose. These cock sucking degenerate mother fuckers are always around you, feeding you shit information and monitoring your progress to make sure your always at peak fucked-upness.

Its some serious matrix kind of shit. Hyperdimensional but also just mundane dickheads spying on you. Because you need to feel fucking paranoid on some level and that hyperdimensional shit is easily dismissed by your conscious mind as just bullshit.

Unplugging from all forms of mainstream media is a big step. All the shit you hear and see is designed to just fuck you up. All of it. Its there to just dick with your emotions. To keep you off balance, second guessing yourself, following the herd, et fucking cetera.

If your cognitive dissonance hasn't already shut you down by now, or some significant other just happened to be reading over your shoulder and told you this is all bullshit, then you should put together some kind of simple mantra that you read again and again, all the fucking time, every day. Something that reminds you that your being held in a fucking cage with the cage door wide open. But it needs to be personal and don't fucking show that shit to anyone.

Also driving a nail into a piece of wood using all of your pain, hate, anger, and angst with every blow, directed at who or whatever is causing you harm is helpful for generally fucking up any dipshits in your "sphere" covertly fucking you up.

Here's a useful book, short and concise but helpful to the task:

https://www.pdf-archive.com/2014/02/15/mickey-royal-the-pimp-game-instructional-guide/

The thing that finally made the suicide thoughts go away was the realization I'd just be reincarnated into a worse place.

You believe in reincarnation clearly then you should also realize there's no ifs or buts about it. Once you're dead, your astral body will atrofy and these awful feelings will go away. And you will be content and feel like going for another trip to earth to learn all these lessons you didn't manage to learn last time since you killed yourself.

What lesson(s) is there to be learned here in your current situation? I cannot possibly tell you for I do not know your situation. You mention psychiatric institutions but I cannot possibly grasp the extent of it.

If it's depression, I have been quite depressed at some point in my life because I kept feeling in the same place. Like my life was halted and every direction I took led me to the same place again. I eventually realized that the one thing I never did, was making the hard choices. I always knew in my heart that I needed discipline in my life, but I did everything in my power to go out of the way of that. And then wondered and cried why my life went to shit every time. Only when I did the thing I knew in my heart I had to do, I could move on.

I think I read in the Kybalion, or some other book, that destiny lets us no further until we have learned the lesson we have to learn. What keeps you in your place? In your heart you know, even if you might not want to see it.

I wish you all the best.

hey OP I found your song.

>>102512

You're suffering will only get worse, it is up to you whether this empowers or kills you.

>>102512

I feel your pain brother, let us do what we can to end physical existence, not just mine and yours but everyone's.

Hang on for a bit more, we are on the verge of discovering great truths and working with entities that would either end reality or remake us into powerful and indestructible highly evolved beings.

>>102596

true, let it empower you brother.

psychiatric institutions will only harm you do what you can to avoid them and get rid of their medications and get more into magick and the occult, I just discovered that among my circle of friends many are in a bad position, because they can't get past the abrahamic indoctrination and free themselves as I did, yes sure I am in the gutter too, but I am in a better place than them, without magick and the occult I would have killed myself years ago.

>>102519

This

>>102616

>I don't think this is helpful, while I think aiming to get away from medications and psychiatric institutions is a great goal but I think shifting to some other extreme and just going full on into majic and the occult would be detrimental. It is easy for schizos and maniacs to justify their delusions if they have a such a strong context in the occult and it can end badly.

Only if they don't ground themselves well, psychiatrists are doing more harm than good by attributing all problems to imbalance of hormones and neuro-transmitters. also disregarding the power of delusions (a double edged sword) is another reason why that there are many people who get on medications kill themselves.

>Some will say their is no such thing as mental illness and that is all metaphysical forces whilst psychaitrists will tell you the opposite, in truth, it is a bit of both.

I agree, sometimes it's not just negative entities but also personal flaws due to experience that corrupt people. if there is no personal flaw, the metaphysical forces have no place to exploit ,enter from.

> Acknowledging you have mental health problems is a great start to sorting them out, when you place all the burden of getting well on majic and reject therapy or any form of medication you can be doing yourself a lot more harm than good.

Citation needed

>Better to sort yourself out, take some time and rest, and become firmly grounded in a position were you can think clearly and not let negativity have a profound impact on your life before you start dabbling in this and that and be confronted with an overwhelming amount of literature and esoteric material. Yes, sometimes spiritual material can help orientate yourself and find the words you need to hear in times of need, but I find those times and words are better left to fate, not trying to force the universe through a constant perusal of the occult. Studying the occult is not something you should do when you are needy and surrounded by anger and hatred, things will take advantage of you and you will make choices unconsciously based on your emotional states. Something like meditation, clearing your mind, cultivating discipline in what ways you can, and trying to create balance in your life I think is better advice.

Yes, the occult isn't just about conjuring spirits, there are ways to find balance and lose your fears and deal with depression, but I don't think the OP will get anywhere by listening to a shrink, hell he might be in this mess because he listens to one.

Note that he already tried what you suggest, going to a psychiatric institution and taking medication.

yes some medication will help, but not the synthetic chemicals which are made with very little understanding of human biology, pharma knows some stuff ,yes, but not nearly enough to mess with neuro-transmitters and hormones the way they do.

>I know the woes of anti-psychotics, mental health institutions etc but some medications can be extremely helpful to some people and if you can get a good therapist I have seen people transform themselves in a really stable and structured way.

If you do, why do you advise him to keep on doing what he was doing and obviously did not work?

Would you suggest he gets on prozac? or change his medication, you are starting to sound like a pharma shill at this point.

>Most of the personal problems in our lives can be fixed without having to rely on other entities and magical systems and I genuinely think it is best if you suffer from a mental illness that you should try to leave that out till you are grounded because if you don't the lines of reality only become even more blurred and you lose yourself in a swirl of esotericism which ends up draining you of your life due to obsessive and deranged natures.

Well, depends on the branch of occultism , some have really transformative powers, he just needs to find strength,balance and purpose in one of them, either way he needs to search for the right discipline.

>How about you pray for its restoration instead of its demise?

I don't think this is possible at this point.

AND ?

literally WHY SHOULD YOU GIVE A FUCK ?

yeah, sure. life is probably meaningless. does that mean that we should be all depressed about it ?

hell no, man. if life is meaningless and whatever i do has no real meaning, i'm hitting the club to get drunk and alpha me some bitches because i don't have a care in the world anymore.

hell yeah anon ! think about it ! a meaningless existence is the cure to all social anxieties!

*fuck it, i'll ask her out*

>>102618

>psychiatrists are doing more harm than good by attributing all problems to imbalance of hormones and neuro-transmitters.

Never met a psychaitrist in my life that atrributed all of lifes problems soley to the imblance of hormones and neuro-transmitters. Bit of an over generalisation to suggest ALL psychaiatrists are the same and will all treat a patient in the same way. A good therapist will help you decide what to manage in your life and create realistic goals in a less temporal context.

>why do you advise him to keep on doing what he was doing

I quite clearly did not do that.

>why don't you tell him to take prozac

>shill

I'm honestly not even going to bother with you anymore. I could waste my time with argumentative personalities who see life as a meaningless and pride themselveson getting drunk and laid all day but I am not interested in meandering into worthless rhetoric and petty insinuations. Quite frankly, I have better things to do.

>>102623

>Never met a psychaitrist in my life that atrributed all of lifes problems soley to the imblance of hormones and neuro-transmitters.

Then why are they eager to give you a medication for everything?

>I'm honestly not even going to bother with you anymore. I could waste my time with argumentative personalities who see life as a meaningless and pride themselveson getting drunk and laid all day but I am not interested in meandering into worthless rhetoric and petty insinuations. Quite frankly, I have better things to do.

Oh noes I am devastated.

>>102623

I just don't see why you would defend psychiatrists and psychiatric institutions when they cause so much damage and cause a huge number of people to lose their lives and commit suicide.

Also I didn't say you were a shill, just said that you are starting to sound like a shill when you defend psychiatrists and think that OP should not get into an occult discipline because it would do harm to him.

I agreed with you on some points because they were valid but I think medications and anti-psychotics will make his depression worse, hell I wouldn't be surprised if his current state is a result of anti-depressants.

For OP :

I suggest this

>buy St. John's Wort , tea or capsules and drink a cup or 2 daily.

>exercise twice or 3 times per week.

>meditate for a few mins per day.

>sleep well, lack of sleep will make depression much worse.

>take some amino acids, they help depression.

>when you are ready, get into an occult system of your choice.

Also you are not useless.

you just had enough, I totally get that, I felt like this more than I could count, in time it will pass brother, just stay strong,and hold on we need you man.

I will send you good vibes and pray you feel better, for now, watch something funny and sleep brother, sleeping heals the mind when it's tired.

>Tired of the police and my parents and the psychiatric system controlling my life, preventing contact with people, and making me feel like a prisoner every day trying to secretly communicate to others and escape.

So escape already

If it's just a feeling, you can leave, right?

Do so.

If it's not just a feeling, you know why you want to die, and you know also why you don't want to die. You don't want to die at all. You want to fix your life. You're not as suicidal as you "wish" to be because you're not as hopeless as you "think" you are.

Fight for life. You need it. All value depends on existing to have value.