What was your biggest mistake /fringe/?
Mine was being a loosh farmer for years and years who absorbed the immense negative energy of others and brought tremendous suffering upon myself, feeding off of their tainted energies in order to do stuff that at the time was amazing for me, but is not trivial.
I could not wrap my mind about the idea of the infinite providence of God. I could not accept that I could just tap into a bottomless pool of infinite energy, that God could give of his loving nature to me, without ever being depleted. I was under the delusion that I had to take from others. I was cut off from God; in understanding, in appreciation, and in faith.
Now I know better.
Being a loosh farmer caused me immense and prolonged suffering and a shitload of weird karma that I lived out over the last however many years. It created quite a lot of drama, a lot of disorder, a lot of strangeness. It was necessary for my development; but only because I was too dense, too sick, too ignorant and weak and low that I had to learn so much in such a brutal fashion.
Everything and its opposite exists. It's simply the law of polarity. The finite is with the infinite, the hot with the cold, the objective with the subjective, and so on. God, the absolute, and positive, infinite living mind… is right there, open to the mind which turns its way.