>>100701
Easy answer. Your body energy and mind movement arts is shit, lacking in strength and skill.
This means you have to get other shit to force the flow you need. Instead you need to generate your own flow with your own strength and skill.
The best way to do this is to take a few notes from power yoga, break dancing, and gymnastics and get on the floor and move. Can be done indoors any time, and should be done 10x a day for at least 5 minutes. Work up to 6 hours in one session, accompanied with calisthenics and other such fun.
Also, spiritual goals. Spiritual life. Aspirations are also Inspiration. Everyone around you is living in secrecy, don't pretend you don't know it. So are you. So recognize that seeing what others try to hide informs you what you're trying to hide, and you thus gain a sort of joy realizing how meaningful your suffering is "Wow I've gained like 10 lbs of insight into my prevalent human condition! I could do like 1000 lbs worth of gold with this insight!" Just find your role spiritually. Pick and choose pick and choose. What you end up choosing is often what you are, even if it takes hours or days or weeks or years it winds up to be a great choice. Don't worry if it's either too great or too silly or too humble. The spiritual journey tends to rip apart the rape babies in your perspective. Those things that aren't you but are attached like a parasite sucking out your blood. RAPE BABIES OF THE SPIRITUAL DIMENSION YO. Eliminate them. (Metal element in chinese -> Cleanse/Elimination; Alchemy useful here, transformation/figuration/mutation of your Metal from weak baby ore into strong indpenduous termator balck womyn arnie << completely transparent in meaning;;;;;;;;;; Metal = Engineering but Earth = Building/Construction, and Earth produces Metal, and the Sun might produce Metal, but fuck you we don't know that for sure and this is magic baby)
Now… focus on moving your energy upward. Depression = all your energy pooling in your feet and draining from your brain, thus decreasing brain chemicals and performance. If you can fuel the engine of your brain, you'll be content. This means, vitamins, minerals, fats, calories, get everything you need. This also means, health supplements. If you don't know, well… get ginger, turmeric, red pepper, garlic, and cleanse the shit out of yourself daily or weekly. Also, do a lot of hand and headstands. Let blood and energy build in your hands and brain. Then stand and try to do the same fighting gravity. You should feel a lot better.
If your body is clogged it has a hard time fueling the brain. Honestly I think our identification with the brain is our downfall… despite what I've said thus far. Connect to the body and it's like entering one of those organic exosuits that cling to the skin and makes you feel all tight and strong… hold up about to throw some cars. Feels good. That'll balance you out; too much brain, either you get a strong as fuck brain or you strengthen the body. The brain is the LONG way; or at least it tries 5x as hard to do the same thing as the body.
Yeah fix your stress/recovery cycle and your eb/flow cycle.
Now here's another thing: Wood element; Liver and Gallbladder; these move energy up to the top of the brain and hands, they fight gravity and shit, and are literally the element of "growth". They also feed the element of "happiness", Fire. Focus on this element more than anything, and on moving energy from your feet upward. If you feel intense blood pressure in your brain you're on the right track.
Tense your entire body in maximal or sub-maximal contraction and push some blood into your brain once a day after warming up. Start with sub-sub-maximal and move up to maximal after a few weeks. Tension defends, and that means defending against psychic attacks. When you can tense your entire body and go like Master Roshi, being an old man that turns into a fucking hulk when he flexes his shit, then you'll be golden. You'll never experience depression again, because you'll have no petty mosquitos flocking around you.
You're being drained by parasites who feed on your despair, go warrior on some cunts and stop being a faggot dyel.